Blessings
May god grant you many years to live, 
for sure he must be knowing 
the earth has angels all too few 
and heaven is overflowing
Toasts
 May the face of every good news and the back of every bad news be toward us. 
Jokes
One day Mrs. Flanagan feels sickly and goes to the doctor for a look at. The doctor looks her over and says, "Well now, Mrs. Flanagan.  I'm a bit perplexed on your condition but if you bring a urine specimen to me in the morning I can tell exactly what's wrong."  

 Mrs. Flanagan went home and said to her husband, "The doctor wants me to bring him a urine specimen in the morning.  I don't know what a urine specimen is, what am I to do?"  

Mr. Flanagan replied, "I don't know, but if you go see Mrs. O'Toole, she'll know what to do."  

Mrs. Flanagan then went down the road to Mrs. O'Toole's and returned a few minutes later with her clothes torn, a black eye, bruises all over her body, and her hair tangled like a bird nest.  

A shocked Mr. Flanagan gasped, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph, woman!  What happened to ye?"  

"I went to see Mrs. O'Toole and asked her what a urine specimen is and she said 'Piss in a bottle, woman.'  So, I said 'Go shit in yer hat !'  
And the fight was on."
 
 
Shamrock Sugar Cookies
Ingredients
  • 1 1/4 cups granulated sugar
  • 1 cup shortening
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/4 cup corn syrup or pancake syrup
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla
  • 3 cups all purpose flour (plus 4 tablespoons divided)
  • 3/4 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
Frosting
  • 1 cup powdered sugar
  • 3 to 5 tablespoons water
  • green food color
Method

For cookies: 
Combine sugar and shortening in large bowl. Beat at medium speed of electric mixer until well blended. 
Add eggs, syrup and vanilla. 
Beat until well blended and fluffy.
Combine 3 cups  flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. 
Add gradually to creamed mixture at low speed. 
Mix until well blended.
Divide dough into quarters. 
Wrap each quarter in plastic wrap.
Refrigerate several hours or overnight.
Pre heat oven to 375°F (190°C). 
Place sheets of foil on countertop for cooling cookies.
Spread 1 tablespoon flour on large sheet of waxed paper. 
Place one quarter of dough on floured paper. Flatten slightly with hands. 
Turn dough over and cover with another large sheet of waxed paper. 
Roll dough to 1/4 inch thickness.
Remove top layer of waxed paper. 
Cut out with shamrock cookie cutter or hand cut forms. 
Transfer to ungreased baking sheet with
large pancake turner. Place 2 inches apart. Roll and cut out remaining dough.
Bake one baking sheet at a time at 375°F for 5 to 9 minutes, depending on the size of your cookies. 
(Bake smaller, thinner cookies closer to 5 minutes; larger cookies closer to 9
minutes.) 
DO NOT OVER BAKE. 
Cool 2 minutes on baking sheet. 
Remove cookies to foil to cool completely.
For Frosting: 
Combine powdered sugar and 3 tablespoons water. 
Mix to blend well. 
Add additional water, a little at a time, if
frosting is too stiff. 
Add additional powdered sugar if mixture is too thin.
Divide mixture into two small bowls. 
Add green food color, a few drops at a time, to achieve desired shade. 
Spread frosting in thin layer on cooled cookies. 
Place remainder of green and white frostings in pastry bags fitted with small round writing tips.
Alternatively, place in small resealable plastic bags. 
Snip very small hole off one corner of each bag. 
Pipe designs onto frosted cookies.
 

Yield: 3 to 4 dozen cookies (depending on size)
 
 

 

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