Blessings
May the saint protect ye-
An’ sorrow neglect ye, 
An’ bad luck to the one
That doesn't respect ye
t’ all that belong to ye, 
An long life t’ yer honor-
That's the end of my song t’ ye! 
Toasts
May I see you gray and combing your children's hair.
Jokes
Three guys work on a construction site. They're building a sky scraper, and work on the 25th floor. They have lunch together every day, eating their sandwiches, looking over the city. One day, the first guy opens his lunch box and starts swearing. "I've been married now for 20 years, and every single day, and I've been having cheese sandwiches work at work. Look, if my wife gives me cheese sandwiches tomorrow, I'll jump." The second guy opens his lunch box, looks at his sandwiches, and says: "Shit, I've been married for 15 years, and I've been eating tuna sandwiches every day at work. If my wife gives me tuna sandwiches again tomorrow, I'll join you, and jump with you." The third guy (Paddy) opens his lunch box, and says: "For 20 years I've been having spud sandwiches every lunch break. And I hate spud sandwiches. If I'm having egg sandwiches again tomorrow, I'll join you guys, and jump with ya."
The next day, the three are having lunch again, on the 25th floor. The first guy takes his lunch box, opens it and shouts: "Cheese!" He stands up, jumps and drops dead, 25 floors lower. The second guy takes a look at his sandwiches, yells: "Tuna", stands up and jumps. Dead. Paddy looks at his sandwiches, says: "Shit, Spud." He stands up, jumps... Dead.
A week later, at the funeral, the three widows are crying together for the loss of their husbands. "I don't get it", says the first one. "We had a perfect marriage, three lovely kids... For 20 years, he never complained about the sandwiches. If he had only told me once he wanted something else... But he never did." The second widow cries: "I don't understand it... Fifteen years we've been married, we always talked about everything. But why did he never tell me he hated tuna so much? I would have prepared him something else for lunch... But he never complained..."

The third widow cries: "Do you think I understand it? For 20 years, Paddy has made his sandwiches for himself, every morning..." 
 
 
 
 
 

 
Chocolate Orange Guinness Cake
Ingredients

Cake

  • 8 ounces butter; room temperature
  • 8 ounces soft dark brown sugar
  • 10 ounces self rising flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1 pinch salt
  • 2 tablespoons cocoa
  • grated rind of 1 orange
  • 4 eggs
  • 1/2 cup Guinness
Icing
  • 4 ounces butter
  • 8 ounces confectioners' sugar
  • orange (juice ; grated rind)
Method

Preheat oven to 375 F.  
Grease two  8 - 9 inch cake pans.  
Cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy.  
Sift the flour, baking powder, salt and cocoa into a bowl.  
Add the orange rind to the creamed butter and beat in the eggs, one at a time, including a spoonful of the measured flour mixture with each one, and beating well between additions.  
Gently mix in the Guinness, a tablespoonful at a time, including another spoonful of flour with each addition.  
If there's any flour left over, fold it in gently to mix;  blend thoroughly without over beating.  Divide the mixture between the tins, smooth down, and put the cakes into the center of the preheated oven.  
Reduce the heat to moderate (350 F) and bake for 35-40 minutes, or until the cakes are springy to the touch and shrinking slightly in the pans.  
Turn out and cool on a wire rack.
.
Meanwhile, make the icing.  
Cream the softened butter and powdered sugar together thoroughly, then blend in the grated orange rind and enough juice to make an icing that is soft enough to spread.  
When the cakes are cold, use half the icing to sandwich them together, and spread the rest on top.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

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